Through the wind and the rain

She stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings

And she flies to a place where she's loved

Concrete angel.

a fragile soul

My guinea pig died today. I never really liked it. But the weird part is, I cried. More than five times. We always had this whole I-hate-you-you-hate-me thing going on, but I miss it. I know, I'm rambling over a rodent, but.. I don't know. I always leave my room expecting to hear her knawing on her water dispenser or scurrying around her cage but I don't, and.. I don't like it..

My brain's automatically putting those sounds around the house now. She would sit there squeeking forever and it was weirdly comforting, as annoying as it was.

I can't help but feel guilty, too. We were never really home to regularily do things for her and it was Cory's pet, so when I was home, I expected her to do it, but she never did. I feel bad because I can't imagine the pains he must have been in in the last bit of her life..

I'm crying again. I know it's retarded, crying over a rodent and writing in your blog about it but.. it kills me.

A lot.

red rockets flare

GAHD. I hate being anemic, short and thin skinned. Every picture I take turns out awkward considering my height, and the fact that my skin is vein-y. Seriously. I honest-to-God hope that this goes away before I turn twenty. I really do.

Moving on.

Today, I saw a lady in Subway. She had a rhinestone riddled baseball cap with an American flag pattern on it, an American flag bandana around her neck, a shit with an American flag on it. She was also wearing a red vest with blue pants. Her family, on the other hand, just had red, white and blue beads around their necks. I got the message once I saw the hat, though.

As they left, I turned around to see their truck had a full size American flag draped over their cargo. As they went to leave the parking lot, I spotted the license plate:

Texas.

Damn olympics.

but heaven knows i'm miserable

Shit.

This is the entire reason I've never really gone to parties.

let's get out of this town

Ugh.

That's all I can say: Ugh.

I can never do anything right. I make my friends mad, I make my family mad, I make my teachers mad and it gets me NOWHERE. I don't intend to, either. It's just the stupid things I do on a daily basis.

Wrote this today, though.

Enjoy. :

The dark of night was falling fast,

Under the highway overpass,

A youth, with eyes of fire and ice,

Seeing hearts as a strange device.

His brow was sad; hungry eyes beneath,

Shone bright as a dagger from its sheath.

He parted his lips and the sound that rung,

Was the accents of an unknown tongue

A melody danced through the air of the night,

Memories tumbled; nostalgic and bright.

Frigid air cuts deep into bone,

For now, he'll hold and shout alone.

somewhere over the rainbow

I've decided I'm most definitely getting a tattoo someday. See, I don't want anything huge, or tacky, or bright, or anything. Basically, what I want, is birds. Like, a flock of birds flying up my arm (1cm-2cm silhouettes), that curves around my arm to the back and onto my shoulder blade, where they disperse and stop. It's hard to describe, but I really like it.