i fought the war, but the war won

Don't you just hate it when life goes awry and you really feel like everything is caving in around you? I get it far too much. And I mean, I totally know what you're thinking too, "Oh, you're just a teenager, you're so melodramatic. ANGST ANGST ANGST" but no. I'm well aware there's millions of people who have had it much harder than me, but when you're family is like mine, and you're essentially forced to go between houses during the week and you only get to see your dad and your four-year-old brother every three weeks, sometimes six., it gets to you eventually.

Lately everything's just been.. twisted. Mom and Ron(Her boyfriend) have been screaming at eachother, which terrifies me. He hit her once, and I cried for an hour and all I could do was think it was my fault. Problem was, it actually was. I remember when I was twelve or so, mom was in a relationship with Will. They'd be dating for a long time, and I would go to sleep with them screaming at eachother in the other room, and sometimes, we'd wake up to furniture from inside being on the lawn. Apparently, they'd throw it at eachother.

I know, I preach like crazy about being happy and getting over your past but all this has been getting to me lately, because it's all just hit at once. On the brightside, my most recent ex just started dating someone else, which gave me the strangest sense of freedom. People keep asking me if I'm mad about it, too, but I couldn't really care less. I've been really unsure about my feelings for him for the past couple months and this just helped me let go. That's.. about the only great thing lately, though.

Ahh, well, in the words of Modest Mouse;

"We'll all float on okay."